On the 20th of April 2019, Mr Adrian Dewan led a session based on the topic of marriage and the article below presents a brief summary on the key teachings for the day.
The session began by comparing the concept of marriage to the doctrine of the trinity. A complicated doctrine whose beauty fails to be captured by the mere words of men, who teaches the existence of one God in three co-equal persons. The image of the trinity is drawn to be parallel in marriage. Though the husband and the wife are distinguishably two individuals, they are in one flesh (Mark 10:8).
Despite being divine and equal, Christ chooses to submit to the Father. Submission in marriage is often viewed in a negative light, the post-modern world proclaims it to be a sexist teaching by suggesting it devalues women to be inferior than men. However, considering the trinity, marriage again is not about hierarchy but rather submission despite equality like that of Christ before the Father. When Eve was introduced as a helper (Genesis 2:18), her individual value was never reduced to be lower than that of Adam. However, “helper” in Hebrew is ezer a word first describing Eve’s role but followed by consistently being used in the context of rescuing or supporting Israel. It is not that the wife is inferior in value, but it is that she portrays the image of Christ in marriage through submission.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” - Ephesians 5:25-27 (KJV)
The husband is to submit before God and to sacrifice and lead the family just as Christ for his Church. Despite the roles in marriage, both individuals are to reflect the love that exists within the trinity and not to be misused, for through biblical love the kingdom can be greatly advanced. Post-modern concept of marriage is driven by the idea of consumer love, often leading to self-centric relationships. If someone is not feeling satisfied or happy in the relationship, the solution is often divorce. However, a biblical marriage exercises covenant love.
“It is a relationship much more intimate and loving than a mere legal contract could create, yet one more enduring and binding than personal affection alone make.” – Tim Keller (Timothy Keller: Generous Justice, The meaning of marriage, every good endeavour preaching).
Like a garden, marriage requires a lot of attention, care, love despite all the storms to come. It is not easy simply because you have found ‘the one’ but it is a continuous practice of love, mercy and grace, enduring and persevering no matter the difficulties. Marriage is to reflect the eternal love existent in the trinity, one that precedes time and is beyond the minds of men. Marriage is not about finding ‘the one’ so that you will be happy forever, rather, it is about exercising love like that within the triune God; happiness and fulfilment is simply a bi-product of pursing greater things- the glory of God.
“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – Romans 15:5-6 (ESV)
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